Who Is Stopping You? (Part Four)
The greatest barrier to your success is not the economy, your work habits or your opportunities. Your greatest source of stress is not money or the weather or any physical thing.
The biggest source of business problems, career difficulties and personal stress is the antisocial personality. The type of person who is devious, mean-spirited, cruel, hostile or negative. The one who openly or secretly opposes you, cuts you down and causes you trouble.
When you handle or disconnect from an antisocial person, you feel better. You relax. You succeed more than you fail. You have less to fight on your way to your goals.
The antisocial is also known as a suppressive person as he or she prefers to suppress your success, hold down your progress and stop your happiness.
The first four characteristics of an antisocial person are covered in previous Tips ForSuccess articles which you can read atWho is Stopping You? (Part One), Who is Stopping You? (Part Two) and Who is Stopping You? (Part Three) .
Characteristic #5
"5. Surrounding such a personality we find cowed* or ill associates or friends who, when not driven actually insane, are yet behaving in a crippled manner in life, failing, not succeeding." -- L. Ron Hubbard (*cowed: intimidated, frightened)
Like most people, you have good intentions and try to improve your life. Your statistics in life go up; life gets better.
But then you talk to an antisocial. He or she makes you feel like you are failing.
"You're so weak! Act like a grownup. Get a real job. Don't be such an idiot!"
"Everyone will think you're a jerk if you buy that Mercedes."
"If you don't do what I say, your life will fall apart and you will suffer."
If you believe statements like these, you feel afraid. You may get sick. Your production statistics and income will not improve.
With willpower, you may fight your way out of the mental turbulence and start to succeed . . . for a while. But then the antisocial will find a way to bring you down.
The stress of such situations is extreme. The stress can make you ill. As long as you are associated with the antisocial, you may never recover from an illness.
When you talk to an antisocial, you may feel all kinds of emotions: rage, grief, apathy and so on.
The opposite is true with a social person.
"The friends and associates of a social personality tend to be well, happy and of good morale." -- L. Ron Hubbard
Have you ever felt wonderful after talking to someone? You are talking to a social personality. He or she wishes you success.
The social person helps you increase your productivity. When you make a large amount of money, he or she is delighted and never jealous. You can trust the social personality.
Some social persons have powerful personalities. They help you solve problems. They lift your spirits. If you are sick, they seem to make your illness disappear, just by talking to you!
Characteristic #6
"6. The antisocial personality habitually selects the wrong target." "If a tire is flat from driving over nails, he or she curses a companion or a noncausative source of the trouble. If the radio next door is too loud, he or she kicks the cat." "If A is the obvious cause, the antisocial personality inevitably blames B, or C or D." -- L. Ron Hubbard
Terrorism, war and murder are, of course, wrong targets. No purpose is served by killing people.
Charles Manson persuaded his followers to commit several murders. He testified he was trying to improve the "establishment." Later, he said a Beatle's song made him do it.
Politicians, psychiatrists and social workers often select wrong targets. "Our mayor seems to encourage crime." "He steals because of his chemical imbalance." "She needs more welfare money because she had a bad childhood."
You see examples of wrong targets every day: The driver on the road behind you who blames you for making him late for work. The patient who blames the doctor for his cancer. A man who can't pay his bills and so blames his boss.
Prejudice and biased views are good examples of wrong targets. "We keep our company fresh and hip by never hiring anyone over the age of 45." "Republicans have ruined the economy." "Homosexuals are a threat to my marriage."
Correct Targets
The social personality selects correct targets. "Our customer service is why our customers give us their repeat business." "I'm fat because I eat lots of junk food and never exercise." "If you constantly learn new skills and work harder, you'll make more money."
Intelligent social people can find correct targets to any problem. Examples: "You are broke because you don't organize your finances and control your spending." "The only reason you're not married is you do not find out what your girlfriends really want." "Give bonuses to employees who do the most production and your business will thrive."
When you have the correct target for a problem, the solution is obvious and it solves the problem.