THE TYREX IN THE TUMMY

Abstract:

Though the Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary defines an interview as “a formal meeting at which somebody is asked questions to see if they are suitable for a particular job”, the modern interviewee knows very well it is more than that in reality. Interview spots are high-octane zones with sweaty hands, involuntarily tapping feet and ultra-alert ears. The slightest of voices make heads turn wondering if it is you they are calling for, even if it’s only the janitor crossing to perform his daily routine. Every paper which goes in and comes out of the sanctum sanctorum – the interview room inevitably seems to carry your name and destiny written all over it.

Main Article:

Though the Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary defines an interview as “a formal meeting at which somebody is asked questions to see if they are suitable for a particular job”, the modern interviewee knows very well it is more than that in reality. Interview spots are high-octane zones with sweaty hands, involuntarily tapping feet and ultra-alert ears. The slightest of voices make heads turn wondering if it is you they are calling for, even if it’s only the janitor crossing to perform his daily routine. Every paper which goes in and comes out of the sanctum sanctorum – the interview room inevitably seems to carry your name and destiny written all over it.

You are desperately eager to know your fellow-interviewees qualifications, whether they have a stint of a year or two abroad, if they are casually dropping names or you plainly ask yourself what is wrong with you – you, otherwise a person who has your head on your shoulders. Some even go to the extent of running through the profiles of their competitors on various social networking sites to assure themselves of what? That they do not know. An old friend becomes a new enemy all of a sudden and you wish he or she had not been there. You check the time every minute, keeping track of the number of minutes spent by each candidate inside the interview room and look for any clues on their faces of the slightest traces of appointment or disappointment. You lose all the time, wondering again ‘Who said that face is the index of the mind?’ In the micro-second of the door opening and shutting behind, you want to listen the discussion of the panel of interviewers and hear conjured voices. The clichéd butterflies in the stomach feeling just caught you on.

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The wait seems to be unending, but you also don’t want your name to be called out, as you feel you are just not ready at the moment and ask yourself “When will I ever be ready?” To shatter these imaginary demons inside your head, you invoke the positive energy that is being fogged in the cloud of doubts and fears and assure yourself that your doubts are completely baseless. You bring before our mind, the faces of people who have always thought you had it in you, that you will make it. You recapture their exact words and breathe in and out deeply abruptly realising that the person in the corner is watching you with tweaked eye-brows.

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All this and there comes the clarion call and you are on your feet already. You rehearse that lightning-speed smile and the nod that will accompany your ‘Good Morning’ or ‘Good Afternoon’ – you are not too sure and take a flash look at your watch. The moment you enter the room, a realisation dawns upon you that it is nothing like what you had imagined. It’s even worse. You don’t feel like counting the number of panellists but you are certain that there are more than five. You use the car wiper technique and rotate your head to a full 180 degree and smile beamingly and all their faces refuse to register in your head. It’s a blur of sorts and you sit down hesistantly assuming one of them have signalled you to.The best is yet to come! You are a bundle of nerves extremely conscious of every part of your body – pruned by several training and body language sessions.

On the other hand you are taken aback by the sense of coolness and nonchalance that prevails in the postures and gestures of your interviewers. They may be your Pantheon of Gods at the moment, but you are just another guy. One person disinterestingly utters, “So, Mr/Ms. ___, tell us about yourself.” And there it is! That million dollar question to which there are a zillion number of ways to answer and you find them all inadequate at this juncture. You are unsure when to stop and look for a fresh question, from some quarter of the room, but they seem to refuse to give in. You want to shut up so that they’ll ask the next question which you later wish hadn’t happened.

The question springs out from what you had uttered inadvertently but from a different, in fact an opposite perspective. While you are thinking if it was you who had uttered those exact words, another question is shot at you.

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They have decided you don’t know the answer for the previous question and you don’t know what the next question was. Your line of thought has gone haywire and while you still sorting it out another question bombards you right on your face. Even before you come to terms with yourself they exchange glances and sink back into the seats signalling they’re done. Unsure, you utter a few things and thank them before you leave. The butterflies in your stomach has just metamorphed into a tyrex and the groaning just got louder.

This is clearly an example to show how people undo all that you’ve known and can articulate well. This is also the worst you should be prepared for. However, on the other hand, interviews of these kind, popularly known as stress interviews can be a learning experience of a higher degree where holding on to your ground is more important when the carpet under your feet is pulled out. They show you a different dimension of learning and executing what you have learnt in the most vulnerable of circumstances.

BUDDING MANAGERS
SEPTEMBER 2014 ISSUE


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Author:  buddingmanagers
Posted On:  Tuesday, 23 September, 2014 - 10:46

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